Wednesday, November 9, 2011

How could you make this paragraph better?

After a short while, the tents were set up and nailed down into the wet gr. Sean set up an array of torches around the perimeter of the island in order to ward off any animal that might come near. Max decided to dig a small fire pit for a campfire. He set the wood up like a small teepee, so the flames would be tall enough to cook over. He grabbed the flint out of his backpack and hit it sharply with his sword, creating a spark. Within seconds the tinder had caught fire. Then Max, Sean and Jess rolled a large log in front of the campfire for a seat. Max took a stick and shoved a piece of cracius meat on it.

No comments:

Post a Comment