I have lost my granddaughter which i was close to?

hi in January my granddaughter was born on the 3 rd and she was early she should have being born on the 21 st but she died on that day. im so sad and think about her all the time see i had her a couple day's before she died and new there was something not quiet right with her she wasn't feeding properly so i took her home and told my son and his partner. i rang the health visitor but was an answer Machine so i left a mage for them. i rang the doctors and told the sectary to get the doctor to give them a call on there phone which she did but didn't really help them. the next day which was the 21 st january she was rushed to hospital me and my partner went to hospital early hour's in the morning and watched her die. see i watched her being born in this word and watched her die. then in march my eldest son and his partner had identical twin girls we new the smallest one had problems so we didn't go to hospital as it was so far we would waite and let her have some rest as she had a lot of visitors. any way my son rang to say it was worse than they thought as she has a hole in her diaphragm blood transfusion no good so we rushed up there to be with them me my partner and my mother her mother and a close friend of her mams so sad a day so not once but twice iv had to watch 2 grandchildren p way. but still it remains my first granddaughter i lost i just can not get over her death and don't think i ever will i just hate being sad what should i do